Parenting Together

Healing is often a journey of finding connection—connection to ourselves, to others, and to something greater. For me, this connection came through embracing my Mi’kmaq culture and discovering the meaning behind my name. While my childhood was marked by challenges, including growing up with parents who struggled with alcoholism and their eventual divorce, I’ve learned to release resentment and find peace through cultural understanding and self-reflection.

1. Understanding My Name: A Gateway to Healing

My parents named me Tashena after an “Indian princess” they saw in a movie. At the time, our family didn’t know much about our Mi’kmaq heritage, largely due to the devastating impact of Indian residential schools, which had stripped many Indigenous families of their cultural knowledge. However, my grandmother, a survivor of Indian Day School, gave me a gift that would anchor me in my identity.

She told me my name means “Little Star Sitting by the River” and described it as a symbol of a humble leader. When I looked this up years later, I discovered that she was right—my name carries this meaning in one Indigenous tradition. Knowing this gave me a profound sense of pride and connection. My name wasn’t just a label—it was a reflection of who I could become and the values I could embody.

2. Forgiveness and Cultural Connection

Growing up, I saw the effects of alcoholism on my parents and our family. Yet, as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned not to anchor myself to resentment. My parents, like so many others, carried their own burdens and traumas, which influenced their struggles with addiction.

Mi’kmaq teachings emphasize the importance of love, humility, and respect. These values have helped me shift my perspective. Rather than holding onto anger, I’ve chosen to approach my parents’ challenges with compassion and understanding. My cultural connection reminds me that healing is not just about letting go—it’s about transforming pain into wisdom and strength.

3. The Role of Culture in Healing

The Mi’kmaq worldview is deeply rooted in the idea that all things are interconnected. Everything has a spirit—people, animals, the land, even inanimate objects—and these spirits are bound together in a web of mutual respect and care. This perspective has guided me in my journey of healing.

Through reconnecting with Mi’kmaq traditions, I’ve come to see myself as part of something larger. My struggles are not isolated; they are part of a collective experience shared by my ancestors and my community. This understanding has given me strength and a sense of purpose, reminding me that I am never alone in my journey.

4. Finding Balance Through My Name

“Little Star Sitting by the River” embodies qualities of humility, leadership, and connection. For me, it’s a reminder to stay grounded while also striving to make a difference. My name encourages me to lead with compassion, not control; to embrace humility, not pride; and to seek connection, not division.

This balance has been especially important in navigating my role as a parent. As I strive to break cycles of intergenerational trauma, I often reflect on the meaning of my name. It reminds me to approach parenting with patience, understanding, and the awareness that each of my children carries their own unique spirit and journey.

5. Releasing Resentment: A Path Forward

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned from my Mi’kmaq heritage is the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing harm—it means choosing not to let anger and bitterness define your path. By forgiving my parents, I’ve freed myself from the weight of their struggles. This doesn’t erase the challenges I faced, but it allows me to focus on my own healing and growth.

6. The Power of Cultural Identity

For many Indigenous people, reclaiming cultural identity is a crucial part of healing. Colonization and residential schools sought to erase our traditions, languages, and values, leaving generations disconnected from their roots. Reconnecting with these aspects of our identity is an act of resistance and resilience.

In my own life, this has meant learning about Mi’kmaq teachings, honoring the wisdom of my ancestors, and sharing these lessons with my children. It’s about building a bridge between the past and the future, ensuring that the next generation carries forward the values of respect, humility, and connection.

7. Moving Forward with Purpose

Today, I see my name not just as a symbol of who I am, but as a guide for who I strive to be. It reminds me to lead with humility, to honor my connection to the land and my community, and to embrace healing as an ongoing journey.

While my childhood was marked by difficulties, my cultural identity has been a source of strength and resilience. It has taught me that even in the face of trauma, we have the power to transform pain into purpose. By reconnecting with my Mi’kmaq roots, I’ve found a sense of belonging and direction that guides me in all aspects of my life.

Closing Reflections

Healing is never a straight path—it’s a winding journey filled with challenges and revelations. For me, embracing my Mi’kmaq culture and finding meaning in my name have been transformative steps on this journey. They’ve helped me release resentment, build connection, and move forward with purpose.

To anyone seeking healing, I encourage you to look to your roots. Whether through cultural traditions, family stories, or personal reflection, there is power in understanding where you come from. It’s in this understanding that we find the strength to heal, to lead, and to create a brighter future for ourselves and those who come after us.