Parenting Together

A Christmas Yule Blog

This holiday season has felt like a rollercoaster of unexpected challenges. If the saying “what can go wrong, will go wrong” could sum up a single Christmas, it would be this one. Yet, despite the setbacks and stress, moments of gratitude and connection still managed to shine through.

Struggling to Make Christmas Happen

With the lack of a steady job this year, I found myself struggling to afford presents. It’s not easy as a parent to feel like you might fall short for your kids during the holidays. But this year, I was overwhelmed by the kindness of others. The support from the school, community members, and even some family helped ensure that gifts found their way under the tree. For that, I’m deeply grateful.

One bright spot amidst the chaos was reconnecting with my dad after over a decade of estrangement. Building that bridge during the holidays was a gift in itself. But even that wasn’t without its share of stress.

Financial Challenges and Frozen Pipes

Just as I was catching my breath, my paid family medical leave check went missing. Rent was looming, and I felt the weight of uncertainty hanging over me. Thankfully, after what felt like endless phone calls and waiting, the issue was resolved, and I’ll finally have the funds deposited tomorrow.

Then came Monday’s surprise—no running water. The landlord discovered that the basement pipes had frozen, and eventually, they burst. While it was incredibly stressful, I truly appreciated the landlord’s persistence in solving the problem. By Christmas Eve at 11:00 a.m., we had water again, just in time to make the holiday feel a bit more manageable.

High Conflict Co-Parenting and Hard Choices

Navigating co-parenting dynamics can feel like walking a tightrope, especially during the holidays. Volunteering at the American Legion’s veterans Christmas party should have been a heartwarming experience, and in many ways, it was. I loved helping out with the kids’ games—Christmas bingo, singing carols, and trivia. But because of tensions with my sister, things felt awkward, and as I left, I was blindsided by a false accusation of drunk driving with my kids in the car. While I was relieved to clear things up with the police, the experience added another layer of stress, especially since I suspect my sister made the call.

The most difficult part, though, was navigating the complex dynamics with Nick and his co-parenting agreement involving Aurora. In an effort to respect boundaries, I removed my name from all the gifts and planned to avoid seeing Aurora altogether. But when Katie delayed the exchange, it created a last-minute scramble. In the end, Aurora and I crossed paths briefly as I helped Nick get the car ready, which put me in an incredibly uncomfortable position. Balancing respect for co-parenting agreements with the realities of unpredictable schedules is a constant challenge, and it’s something I’m still learning to navigate.

The Bright Spot: The Kids Together

Amid the chaos, one thing went right: all of the kids had a chance to see each other and celebrate together. Austin, Aurora, and Autumn shared a visit at the group home, and even though the lead-up was stressful, those hours were filled with joy. They laughed, opened presents, and even video-chatted with their siblings to say Merry Christmas. For that brief window of time, everything felt right.

Finding Peace in the Chaos

This Christmas reminded me that no matter how much we try to plan, life can throw curveballs. From financial struggles to family drama and logistical nightmares, it felt like I was constantly putting out fires. But despite it all, there were moments of gratitude, kindness, and joy.

The truth is, the holidays aren’t about perfection. They’re about finding those small, meaningful moments of connection and love—whether it’s watching your kids laugh over a silly gift, helping others at a holiday event, or knowing that despite all the challenges, your family is still standing together.

This Yule, I’m choosing to focus on those moments of joy. Because even when everything seems to go wrong, there’s always something to be grateful for.